Who has the motivation to work out consistently at home? Not
me. Although I do find the array of at home workout videos both fascinating and
hilarious. Fascinating in the sense that you suddenly realize you’re now a member
of the suburban “mom” demographic targeted by late night infomercials- It’s fascinating in the sense that what you
used to roll your eyes and change the channel at, you now seek out on the
internet. “slimmer buns and thighs?” “abs of steel?” oooooh sign me up! Your
single self would laugh heartily at claims like “who needs a gym! Have the body
you’ve always dreamed of with only a floor and some spandex!” Old me would’ve
said “Uh huh- who falls for this garbage!? Hit the gym! Take a run! Some
crunches on the floor in some spandex aint gonna get rid of THAT flab!!” But
now that I’m a “suburban mom” I realize these ads aren’t kitschy or ridiculous-
they are just aired for a specific demographic. They play on the hopes and
vulnerabilities of the “stay-at-home” set. When you realize that bouncing a stroller down
3 flights of stairs doesn’t count as a workout, your’e saved by the precious
info-mercial on youtube. Wow! I can somehow become slimmer and healthier
without leaving home! Floor? Check!
Spandex?(embarrassingly) Check! Whoo
hoo! I will now be a slimmer, hotter me!!!
I find
the workout videos hilarious because they almost always take themselves a
little too seriously and are so silly to look at! I’m convinced that half of
the workout benefits come from the side-splitting laughter these videos induce.
It isn’t unusual for my husband to come home and find me convulsing with
laughter as I attempt to “shake my booty shake shake” in time to the music. I
indeed appear to be having some sort of involuntary spasm as I laugh and try to
be coordinated at the same time. At first he was alarmed. Now he shrugs it off.
“women”. He thinks. You also can’t help laughing at a very effeminate Brazilian
man, oiled from head to toe, lit by glaring fluorescent lights, shaking his
tuchus for all its worth, to some cheesy imitation pop music, while a bunch of
plastic surgery dolls dance woodenly behind him in neon spandex. I crack up
just thinking about it! At least the dance themed exercise videos slate
themselves as “fun” and “a party”, so they do hint at a little bit of self
awareness about their silliness. But the
more fitness oriented videos? THOSE really get me going. Pilates-meets boxing
meets tai chi meets ballet! All at home with no equipment! Nobody smiles.
Nobody shakes their booties (intentionally anyways) this is serious business.
You think you look like Mohamed Ali with a touch of Balanchine. What you really
look like is a drunk and delusional 4 year old fighting off imaginary villains.
In spandex. I haven’t seen results from these videos- mainly because they’re
really just my daily dose of comic relief. I’ve seen most of the “episodes”
already- so the “jokes” aren’t funny to me anymore. How many times can I laugh
at Pele dance “hip hop”? Or Allison punching the air like she’s Buffy the
Vampire Slayer on steroids? The novelty has worn off. The time has come to
(really) get serious. I’m off to join the gym next week! Wish me luck!
Lol! I don't have time to work out so much either but I like doing the Tiffany Roth workouts on youtube. Not cheesy, not skanky, and most of all- easy and they work! Try doing these back-to-back:
ReplyDeleteThe first
and the second ;)
Thanks for sharing this.
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